Power Balance
- Jeanette Sinclair
- Jul 24, 2023
- 3 min read
Power, confidence, feelings of inferiority, imposter syndrome…everyone experiences these feelings at some point.
Where do they come from?
How do we overcome them?
What tools can we use to prevent or lessen them?
We all have that co-worker, boss, friend, relative or acquaintance that makes us feel less-than. To be fair, it may not be anything that they’re doing or saying, it could be 100% in our own heads, hearts and psyche. At times, we’re our own worst enemy.
For this conversation, let’s keep it about us…not to blame ourselves but to empower ourselves to change these feelings or at least how to talk ourselves down. Also, this is not an expectation that you’ll talk to your boss as an equal anytime soon, however, don’t lose sight of what you bring to the table.
Where do feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence come from?
Aka, why do we feel like we do?
First of all, what is power? According to the Annual Review of Psychology, How Power Affects People: Activating, Wanting, and Goal Seeking The word power derives from the Latin word potere, meaning to be able. Although the etymology of the word locates it in the person, power is a relational concept and is dependent upon a person’s perceptions of his or her levels of control relative to another’s.
To be able.
How easy it is to doubt our abilities in any given situation. In today’s world we are asked to do more, to be more and to have more. In some situations we are expected to do more or to know more without the time or resources to properly prepare. Here’s where your homework begins, be honest about what you do know and what you’re capable of learning and accomplishing. Stop and think in the moment and be open to not knowing, yes that seems in conflict with what we’re talking about, however, knowing your limits and recognizing your skills is key to feeling confident and to know that you’re not hiding or pretending.
(Psychology Today link)
How do we overcome them?
Power balance is felt not only in the workplace, it can be with a social contact or family member as well as a colleague. Picture someone that you feel has 'more' than you...more time, more resources and let's be honest...more luck! In this situation you may be reeling off their attributes and accomplishments in your head while you're talking. What else is happening is that you're not listening, you're shrinking in your own mind and in essence handing them power. They may not feel the power imbalance as you do. In fact, they may feel that you're 'above' them in ways that you hadn't even thought about or noticed.
So, what to do?
When you’re heading into a situation that you have felt feelings of inferiority or power imbalance before, take stock of your own skills, attributes, accomplishments and also, where you’ve been lucky! Make an actual list. On paper. Make it tangible and read it over a few times. Remind yourself of what you’ve done and what you’ve overcome as well.
What if you’re in the thick of it? Sam from high school is suddenly in front of you looking crisp, confident and cool. You’re now feeling like your shoes are a bit tight, your clothes are wrong and completely out of place. Take a beat. Use whatever methods work for you to be calm.
(Suggestion (Breathe 4-5-6: Breathe in for 4 beats, hold for 5, exhale for 6.)
Now, pull up that list that you wrote earlier and remember how accomplished and unique that you are!
What tools can we use to prevent or lessen them?
Make a list of your skills, accomplishments.
Self talk (I’m great at ___ even though I’m not good at___ and that's okay).
Write down your fears and step away, come back later and be honest if they are real or not.
Remember similar situations that you were successful.
Remember that others are just as nervous as you.
Be empathetic, it can help you overcome your own insecurities.
Search and try different techniques similar to the Breathe 4-5-6 approach.
Talk to your coach!
Finally, remember that even if someone is doing something to make you feel inferior, it doesn’t mean that you need to let it happen. Try the tools above, call your coach and move forward!
For more insight or guidance on your goals and to-do list, reach out for a conversation on how we can keep you on track. As a Virtual Assistant and Coach-Consultant, I wear a few hats (not too many) and my goal is to support entrepreneurs and business owners.
~ Jeanette Sinclair
